Gumnicks drive me crazy

From Gumnickopedia

What Gumnicks do that drive non-genetic family members (and probably others) crazy:

1. They talk to you from room to room; Yelling as if you can hear and understand them; Assuming that you have nothing better to do than listen to them.

2. If you leave a room full of Gumnicks to go to another room, perhaps to read quietly, a Gumnick will quickly come to find you and talk to(at) you. Eventually another will join in. In no time at all, you are in a room full of Gumnicks and need to move to another room. Repeat.

Oh, here you are. I wondered where you’d gotten to.

Hey, can I join you, honey? What were you doing, trying to read?

Sounds like I need a little icon after my name that looks like The Scream; a little guy with his hands over his ears...

Hey! Has anybody seen Bob? Oh! Here he is. Hey Bob, how's it going? What are you up to?

I must note that the worst is about to happen. They will often, at this point, break into a scene from Evita.

Which page is bob on I cant find him anywhere???

7 votes3. Gumnicks never give up. Talking, that is. Gumnicks talk and talk until eventually someone listens to them. (I am speaking on behalf of the non-genetic family members, of course.)

4. Gumnicks furnish their houses with pre-owned treasures, often found on the curb. Some other people might actually consider these things to be trash, but Gumnicks give them new life. (Non-Gumnicks are jealous of this skill.) It is a Gumnick instinct to fill their houses to absolute capacity. Gumnicks are constantly bringing in new treasures to try to acheive Gumnick-Shui (balance of objects in such a manner that no wall is blank and no horizontal surface is empty of stuff, to promote the flow of manic energy in the room).

I am rolling on the floor! Starfall Graphics isn’t getting much work done today.

Gumnick decorating: an oxy-moron combining the worst of Martha Stewart and Fred Sanford.

5. Dogs are dogs, not people. Peeps is not a word (see #6 below).

DOGS ARE PEOPLE AND PEEPS IS A WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously written by someone brought up in the insidious cat-culture.

We had dogs. We had cats. Unlike Gumnicks, we had perspective.

6. You can never misunderestimate ("misunderestimate" isn't a word. And he says WE mess up the English language! ) the Gumnick mangling of the English Language. Examples abound in the Gumnictionary.