From Gumnickopedia
Swanson pets
|
|
 Ginger Swanson—Princess Fluffy-tail |
 Al and Aaron-spencer-sonny (gerbils) |
Nicknames
Pepper: Pep, Pep-o, Pepperoni, Pepster, Mr. Peeps, Peeps, Pep-o-matic
Ginger: Ginzo, Gin, Gin-Gin, Ginzo-matic
Now I'm feeling guilty that I didn't describe the pets in detail. So here goes...I didn't even know the gerbils had names. I only notice them when they begin to smell.
Pepper is the most attentive (annoying) dog we have ever had the pleasure of serving. He understands the English language and watches me constantly. So, when I say any one of the many words he knows (or any word that rhymes with a word he knows), he nags until he gets 1) food 2) petting 3) a walk (or drag) 4) chewee-tweets (rawhide). Sometimes I think he's got some terrier (relentless) in him.
Ginger (in contrast) is very independent and undemanding. She is freaky in that she is very sensitive to changing light (sun setting) and gets weird about leaves casting shadows, reflections off of book jackets or glasses. She jumps up and tries to bite the reflections. She (since she was a stray-teenage-unwed-mother) is afraid of bad weather and squeezes her 40 lb. body under the bed (which is about 6 inches off the floor). One day, the jaws of life will need to come remove her. She is a big flirt in that she seems to prefer men (and boys, of course!) And, like many animals, she is most attracted to the people who don't like animals (She should be on Oprah--"Dogs Who Like Men Who Don't Like Dogs."
Gumnick/Jones pets
Stella Jones (Queen Be-otch), 13 years old. Enjoys being mean to most every other creature she meets, other than Bear, the Golden Lab mix who lives nearby and is her boyfriend. Jaz is just biding her time until Stella meets her maker and she can finally live without fear. Stella was recently diagnosed with Cushing's Disease, an illness caused by a tumor that increases appetite and thirst, among various other yucky symptoms. But she is finding the illness a convenient excuse. Whenever she is particularly annoying, she just excuses herself by saying, "It's not my fault. I have a tumor."
Banjo in a bad mood. Imagine that.
Banjo Jones (Prince Charming), 5 years old. Banj, Mr. B, a charmer and a killer. He is mostly an outdoor cat, and really only likes to come in to eat. He has left numerous "gifts" for us in fun and surprising places, and he takes personal pride in dismembering small creatures in creative ways. Banjo describes himself as a "dog person," he adores Stella and Jaz, and wishes Babe and Monkey were dead. In fact, I think if he thought he could get away with it, he might just leave us them as "gifts" some time. But I think he realizes that he is stuck with his pesky little sister and brother.
Jaz with the pillow Rich won for her at Six Flags. I'm not even kidding.
Jaz Jones (Princess Jaz), probably 8 or 9 years old, who knows. The cutest dog ever, the sweetest, the gentlest. I mean, just look at her!! Don't you wish she was yours?? No wonder Stella hates her. She's like the perfect child. Rich and I are constantly competing to be her favorite, and if we ask her "Who do you love? Who do you love?" she whines and covers her face with her paws and then eventually kisses whoever she loves more that day. (Rich and I really need to get out more.) She is also a totally CHOW HOUND who will hunt down the smallest crumb left behind anywhere. She'll probably end up dead of a chocolate overdose some day due to Beth's negligence in leaving cadbury mini-eggs around for her to find.
Babe Jones (Princess No-Personality), 4 years old. Babe lives to eat, and likes company when she does. The cats are fed in the bathroom, the bowl is pretty much always full, but Babe only really likes to eat when someone is in there with her. Consequently, she will coax unsuspecting passersby to enter the bathroom any time they are within 10 feet of it. She meows at you and runs ahead, seeming to say "Don't you have to pee??" Babe is in love with Monkey, even though it is unnatural since they are brother and sister (okay, not by birth, but it is still kinda creepy in a Greg and Marsha kind of way). Oh. Babe also like to scratch the furniture, which makes her Beth's least favorite pet, but don't tell her that.
Monkey Jones (Prince Name-Sound-Most-Like-A-Racial-Slur, also known as the court jester), 4 years old. Mr. Personality, the funniest of our pets, the most playful, and the weirdest. He often seems more dog-like than cat-like. He loves to bug Banjo in a little brother kind of way, he will wake us up at 4 AM just because he wants to be petted (he finds your hand and sticks his head under it), he loves to play, both with us and with Babe, he HATES dancing and will run from the room if Rich so much as snaps his fingers. Monkey is the coolest cat ever, trust me. (And he doesn't scratch the furniture.)
Gumnick (Jim and Jean) pet
Felix (Mr. Feelerman, Feely McLixington, F-Felix, Feely, Sausage Dog.) |
And this is his "after" picture—after several years of good lovin'—Jabba the Mutt |
Visiting the Illinois Gumnicks, Thanksgiving 2007? |
Malmberg pets
Lightning (huge one) and Storm (tiny one)
They are sweet dogs, but the little one is psyco! And, she actually RUNS across the top of the back of the Malberg's sofa. 
Illinois Gumnick pets
|
|
|
|
Emily with Crinkles, Tiger, Tilly, and Kirby. |
Cheddar (“rode hard and put up wet”) |
|
